


We can't have wounded pride

by aarronburrsirr



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Gen, debate class
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 18:24:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7944655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aarronburrsirr/pseuds/aarronburrsirr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex can't back down from an argument, even when he knows he's going to hurt a friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We can't have wounded pride

It happened in debate. It always happened in debate. Alex always fucked up in debate.

He didn’t mean to, it just happened. His opinions and unwillingness to give up wasn’t necessarily viewed favorably by others, even fellow debaters. They were here to debate both sides of an argument, to challenge themselves by thinking of other response. That’s not why Alex was here. He was here to win, to fight for what he was passionate for, to pick a side and stick to it. He saw it as a strength, some people (teachers) called it a weakness and told him that he’d never get anywhere in life if he didn’t listen. Aaron told him to “talk less, smile more” whatever that meant. Alex responded with a cool “I’ll smile when I’m satisfied” and continued on his way.

Last time he’d messed up in debate, he’d asked Lafayette a bit too loud in Adams’ (he didn’t deserve a first name – that was for John Laurens) earshot about why their 1st speakers always had to be like this, referring to a brief but unfortunate stint with Thomas. Suffice to say, Adams was insulted – no one likes being compared to Thomas. They’d made up, but at least on Alex’s side, relations were strained (to say the least), for Alex didn’t exactly hold Adams in his highest regard, always on damage control incase he had to say something to fix something racist, homophobic or misogynistic that came out of the loud and unpredictable mouth.

They were practicing proving principle points in debate. As the coach wrote the topic on the board “That children who aren’t vaccinated should not be allowed to attend school”. Inwardly (and outwardly) he was excited. Yes, he had done this topic many times before and yes, it was a bit basic for 9th grade, but he loved it the same. Now, the affirmative side of the topic was something he could really get behind. Put fully vaccinated children in more danger of some deadly disease because some parents didn’t believe in vaccinating their children for whatever reason? Not on his watch. Thank god, his side of the table was given affirmative.  
“Adams, can we swap?” Lafayette groaned from the other half “I can’t argue negative for this side of the topic!”  
“No, I’m fine with staying on this side,” responded Adams.  
“Angie? James?” Both of them shook their heads in quick succession, not willing to give up this side, or maybe just attempting to argue both sides. Who knows.  
“Poor you, Laf. Guess you’ll just have to deal” Alex said, half laughing whilst he did. He knew that both he and Laf were strongly in favor of the topic, and that they had been since beginning debate together.  
“This side is the easy side!” John chimed in from the negative side to Laf. He seemed genuinely confused at Alex’s reasoning and take on this issue. They’d had this argument before. Neither of them had won, a rare occurence. What a constituted a common occurrence was disputed between them. Alex saw things from a more analytical point of view, his emotions rarely being intertwined with his arguments. What made him a fine debater, however, was also viewed as something that devalued his morality as a human. His definition of winning a debate was a reasoning win, no manner how many people it hurt in the process. John wanted everything to be the best for everyone, and whilst Alex admired that, it just wasn’t the way that his mind worked.  
“Yeah, yeah sure. I don’t like it” Herc shot back.  
“Everyone, can we please get on to writing our points?” George, their coach, patiently said, but it wasn’t a question, it was a command.

Alex quickly wrote down the principle and practical side of the argument, figuring out how he could argue these points best to convince the adjudicators to his side of the argument. There was a case to be made for him not bothering to write much at all down – 3rd speakers didn’t have to present principle or practical arguments, only rebut, but he did anyways. How could he not? There was always knowledge to be gained from proving something, even if you’d already proved it multiple times before.

“Two minutes left.”  
Alex was now reading about the Iraq War (it was crazy), Boris Johnson (he is crazy), Liberal Conservatism (can it even exist?), Pauline Hanson (she is crazy), the dissolution of the Soviet Union (shouldn’t have been surprising, was bound to happen eventually) and was placing cities on a map of the world. James looked on in awe as Alex successfully placed Urumqi and Vladivostok on a map within 100km of their actual positions.  
“How do you do that?”  
“I read”

“We don’t have enough time to completely present these points, so could everyone please read out theirs, starting with you, John” George says whilst point to Adams. Adams reads his points out, explaining briefly, and then James reads, and then it’s Alex’s turn.  
“It’s not fair to endanger the health of the vast majority of children who do get vaccinated by the irresponsibility of parents who don’t vaccinate theirs. Banning these unvaccinated children from schools does not ban them from getting an education, there is such thing as homeschooling, and exceptions will be made for those who cannot be vaccinated due to allergies, of course. But I believe that in the case where it is the conscious decision of a parent to not vaccinate, they and their child should have to suffer the consequences of their actions, especially when it puts so many others at risk” Alex continued, rambling off on this and then how unvaccinated children spread disease easier, especially in areas like schools, where hygiene wasn’t exactly impressive. John was visibly flinching during the course of Alex’s speech, but there was no way that Alex was ever going to notice. He was in the zone, and he was going to continue speaking for as long as he could.  
“Alex, I’m afraid we don’t have enough time for you to continue. Angelica?” Angelica rattled off her thoughts, succinct and perfectly formed as always. George moves onto Herc on the negative, who talks about compassion and providing education for everyone. Then it’s John’s turn. He speaks passionately about how everyone has a right to education, and how we needed to respect the views of people who didn’t vaccinate their kids.

Now, Alex wouldn’t describe himself as a tolerant person. In fact, he knows that he can be particularly intolerant to view that don’t match his own. Though, his intolerance isn’t based on unfounded views, his intolerance is directed towards ideas he considers stupid or unworthy of his attention. He was also incredibly stubborn and lacked empathy to an extent. He didn’t necessarily view these traits as positives, but he definitely would fervently defend them if anyone called them negatives.

His hand went up three times during John’s speech, but George kept waving it down. His mind was buzzing with rebuttal for the negative sides points, and was consolidating as Lafayette blustered through their two, fine, but passion lacking points. As soon he finished, Alex moved to make three points against John’s arguments. Debate coaching was one of the most liberal places he ever was. This was where he could comfortably make his Donald Trump jokes, alongside making his views clear about pro-life protestors. So he wasn’t really thinking when he made one of his next comments  
“You said that these parents would take their children to hospital if they got sick so they wouldn’t actually be there to infect other kids, but considering these parents are listening to bullshit scientific reports about autism being related to vaccines, they probably wouldn’t take their children to hospital but instead rely on ‘homeopathic’ medications.” It drew laughter from the rest of the room, but John was hurt. Trust Alex to not realize that he was hurt whilst basking in the giggles from everyone else. He would never admit it, but admiration from others wouldn’t kill him once in a while. Maybe, just maybe, he actually enjoyed it a little. Either way, it meant that he didn’t stop to acknowledge the fact that he’d hurt one of his best friends.

George cleared the class out of the room, making a fairly standard goodbye, see you next week then quickly moved away. Alex and John kept fighting. The last thing George said was,  
“Calm down John!” as he climbed down the stairs to the bottom floor.  
“And then you said that parents should have the right to decide what happens to their children, so then shouldn’t they have the right to say that their children shouldn’t get an education because of this?” Alex questioned.  
“I didn’t say this!”  
“Yes you did!”  
“I didn’t!”  
“You did! You said that parents should have the right to control their children!”  
“Well forget what I said then, think about now!”  
“They’re still endangering other children who have been vaccinated!”  
A sizeable crowd of their friends had gathered around them now, listening to them as two of the most opinionated people in the year, people who usually agreed on everything were suddenly battling it out through their words.  
“That was their parent’s choice, not the child’s. They should still get an education!”  
“There is such a thing as homeschooling.”  
At this point they had stopped walking and were just standing there, talking.  
“Well you know what Alex, I haven’t been vaccinated because my dad didn’t want me to be. Do you think that I just shouldn’t come to school anymore?” John finished in a final crescendo of emotion he, along with everyone looked at Alex expectantly. 

Alex saw, Laf looking shocked, and then softening. But the thoughts going through Alex’s head were not those of backing down. He couldn’t back down, not now, not just for a personal case, not just because his best friend, challenged him using a personal example. No, no one would be allowed to change his perspective. It would devalue his entire argument if he made an exception for one person. He had made his mind. He would remain stoic, no matter what this meant he had to say.

“Yes.”

Angie and Laf immediately moved to John’s side, comforting him whilst he stepped back, shocked.  
“Fine then”  
Everyone walked their separate directions, Alex moving to catch the bus home with Herc and Adams, proud of winning yet another debate, the full consequences of his actions having not yet sunk in. In fact, as he walked down the road towards the bus stop he was still arguing his point about how vaccinations were necessary and how the US wouldn’t get anywhere without them. He didn’t stop until Adams said  
“Alex, you don’t have to argue anymore, we agree with you, vaccinations are really important.” Alex froze for a second, shocked. He wasn’t expecting anyone to agree with him especially not at a crisis time like this, especially when he'd obviously hurt John.  
“B-bu-but, vaccinations are important to m-me.” He managed to get out after a couple of tries.  
“We know!” Adams repeated, but Herc said nothing, preferring not to side with Alex on this argument. Alex, however was satisfied for that moment, and smiled.

It only hit him on his walk home what he had done. John had looked so hurt, when he’d uttered that yes. And what for? To proved a point? Was it really that important and important and necessary that he’d had to hurt a best friend in the process? Could he have not hurt his pride a little and lost the argument? Would John ever talk to him again? Would he be able to apologize properly? 

The questions swirled around his head on the entirety of his walk home.

He had hurt John Laurens.  
His best friend.  
And he didn’t think he could say anything to make it better.

Shit.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfiction I've ever written, so this is basically 2000 words of absolutely nothing, but if you have any ideas about how I could add some substance to this, please comment!


End file.
